It has only been a few weeks in Poly and I have changed tremendously. I get frequent impulses of frustration to lash out on someone and engage in physical violence. My mind is like a ticking time bomb.
Yesterday I almost punched a man in the face for repeatedly testing my patience. My subconcious mind automatically blocked off his moronic words and I ignored him. I told my uncle I 'wouldn't have spared him if his face didn't look so pathetic'.
Today I abruptly grabbed a friend by the collar and stared at him fiercely in the eyes as if a bully would do, absurdly, for no particular reason. I unintentionally embarrass myself. My legs, throughout the day, was itching to kick someone.
I contemplated, and concluded that this state of emotion was merely a side product of my recent surge in motivation fused with excessive physical strain. Adaptation to new attitudes, unfortunately, does take its toll..
I'm very sure dealing with emotional stress is something everyone will have to master. Once in a while, unsurprisingly we all go through mood swings etc. But please note: being emotional is not a weakness. Being emotional is a gift.
As you can see from the story above (yes, it's truly about me), I find myself in unsettling situations whereby anger sometimes boils beyond control. Patience and self-control is crucial in anger management, but I think it's possible that we can convert our emotional energy into more useful energy. Usually on my way home from school, if I have any fury stored up inside, I'd unleash them at home. I'd channel that anger into strength - relentlessly putting my body through intense physical workout. I'll continue for as long as it takes to calm myself.
If that's not enough, I'd (this may be a tad hard to believe) revise my schoolwork. Stockpiling harmful negative emotions can lead to self-destruction, and I'm sure we all don't want that. It's important to focus our mind's attention to other things such as reading. You see, emotions can be a key source of motivation. If we have a strong believe in ourself and our potential, emotions plus passion creates the ultimate fuel in the drive towards excellence.
Okaaay... I gotta go. My daily routine is stepped up tenfold, so I'll blog whenever I think is necessary. Still, your tags are immensely appreciated and valued, and please get the idea that I DO READ and NOTICE them.
=) Thank you.
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