12/2/07
The teachers of 4e1 had a meeting yesterday and they talked about how 4e1's progress hadn't met up to the principal's standards and how much pressure we're under now. The teachers pity us. Pity. That'll save us from our sorrows. Okay, well I have to credit the teachers, they're really trying their best to nurture us to our fullest potential. It's all up to us now. But the real question is, if we're working so damn hard everyday, why aren't we moving forward?
No, wait a second, why aren't I moving forward?
Would I call myself a failure? No matter how hard I seem to try.. I'm standing still. How many nights have I spent walking alone under the streetlights, avoiding the gaze of passerbys, and enduring the dagger stares of misery in my heart?
My rage is growing.
14/2/08
Love in the air. Maybe for you there is but I feel nothing. THANK YOU SO MUCH to u gals for ur gifts (yea luv ya too). It could just be the most special day for some, to me it was different. I've never felt so much pressure before ever. When I got home I collapsed and may have shed away some of that migraine, but suddenly I felt a surge of depression inside me.
SHIT. I DONT HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT. I DONT HAVE ENOUGH SLEEP. I DONT HAVE ENOUGH TIME. AND I WILL ALWAYS NEVER HAVE ENOUGH INFORMATION JAMMED INTO MY BRAIN. I can't even think straight anymore. I don't know where I'm going.
I found myself once again walking back home from night classes. As the cars zoom past the road, I wondered how it felt to stand in the path of an oncoming truck. As I walked under the void deck, I wondered how it felt to have a flower pot falling 24-storeys and crushing my skull. If I just die now, would I be relieved or regretful? Would I ever be free?
My future's bleak. Awfully bleak.
It's Valentines and the moon's only half-full. If the moon was full tonight, I would transform into a werewolf and unless someone shoots me till I'm dead, I would devour every living soul on Earth..
...and that includes you.
.......
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