Forever

Yes, common tests are over but it hardly meant anything to me. Pressure after pressure, misery after misery.

Love - The root of all evils.

Why am I not surprised.

All this time maybe you didn't know it but I've been trying my best not to cross the line between love and friendship. We've been through so much, girl, how could you think for one that I will replace someone as special like you. Whatever shit I had as my reason for my words, you know now. I've told you.

Yes, I have been jealous, but I kept it in. You're too sweet to get angry with.

Yes, I have been depressed, but I kept it in. You're too cheerful to upset.

Yes, I have been in love with you, but once again, I kept it in. You're too treasured to lose now.

You know DAMN well I'll never leave you. I'll always apologize, I'll always be there for you. I still try my best to help you even when you never listen to me. I still come crawling back to you even when you tried to murder me with your words... your actions... your emotions...

So why should this happen now. We've been thru more bad times than good, but our faith in each other picks us up. Thats what makes US so special. Maybe we're inseparable, or maybe I was destined to leave you at the first sign of rejection. But I didn't.

" Life's so great when you're not in my mind. "

That's true. I think so about you too. But no matter how contented I am with what I have, I will always look back and see that, life's incomplete without you. Yes the puzzle's almost done, it look's stunning now, but there's still a piece left. And that's you. Don't you get it?

You're part of me, you shaped me to what I am today. You made me understand true love, eternal friendship, blissful happiness, wonders of life, shadows of regret, shining rays of hope, glowing talents, ruthless misery, bleeding heartbreaks, pounding hardship, flares of envy, and a blazing passion to pull through and live another day.

I'm so glad I have the patience to carry on.

I don't give up.

But all that I have to give right now is....

that's right, ..

..CINTA.

*sebisa mungkin, tak akan pernah, sayangku akan hilang*

Devastation

7 am - 2.30pm -- Everyday school lessons

2.30pm - 5.00pm -- Remedial + CCA

7 pm - 9.30pm -- Night classes

10.00pm - 1am++ -- Homework and daily revision

12/2/07
The teachers of 4e1 had a meeting yesterday and they talked about how 4e1's progress hadn't met up to the principal's standards and how much pressure we're under now. The teachers pity us. Pity. That'll save us from our sorrows. Okay, well I have to credit the teachers, they're really trying their best to nurture us to our fullest potential. It's all up to us now. But the real question is, if we're working so damn hard everyday, why aren't we moving forward?

No, wait a second, why aren't I moving forward?

Would I call myself a failure? No matter how hard I seem to try.. I'm standing still. How many nights have I spent walking alone under the streetlights, avoiding the gaze of passerbys, and enduring the dagger stares of misery in my heart?

My rage is growing.

14/2/08
Love in the air. Maybe for you there is but I feel nothing. THANK YOU SO MUCH to u gals for ur gifts (yea luv ya too). It could just be the most special day for some, to me it was different. I've never felt so much pressure before ever. When I got home I collapsed and may have shed away some of that migraine, but suddenly I felt a surge of depression inside me.

SHIT. I DONT HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT. I DONT HAVE ENOUGH SLEEP. I DONT HAVE ENOUGH TIME. AND I WILL ALWAYS NEVER HAVE ENOUGH INFORMATION JAMMED INTO MY BRAIN. I can't even think straight anymore. I don't know where I'm going.

I found myself once again walking back home from night classes. As the cars zoom past the road, I wondered how it felt to stand in the path of an oncoming truck. As I walked under the void deck, I wondered how it felt to have a flower pot falling 24-storeys and crushing my skull. If I just die now, would I be relieved or regretful? Would I ever be free?

My future's bleak. Awfully bleak.

It's Valentines and the moon's only half-full. If the moon was full tonight, I would transform into a werewolf and unless someone shoots me till I'm dead, I would devour every living soul on Earth..

...and that includes you.

.......

Paparazzis

Doesn't this picture just make ya dreamy? Sorry I just cant help it im runnin outta pics..

Heyyerrs..

Ever get the feelin you're being watched? For a kid like me, paranoia is inevitable. Lols, I always get the feeling someone's watching me or even someone talking behind my back. Often I'd look over my shoulder only to fill my heart with unease. In most occasions, usually these bad vibes could turn out to be true..

Well for the first time EVER, these 'senses' actually turned out differently. It was at the library, I was wearing my sweater which was on me the whole day, and I was with John and Oliver. Everything seemed normal until I had this gut feelin im being watched again. I turned around and from quite a distance, a camera phone peering over the wall ducked instantly at my sight. ==

Okay, so I fixed my eyes there and a pair of eyes and a ponytail pretended to look somewhere else. That totally cracked me up. Moments later, there ~they~ go again, peering from between bookshelves hoping to get an emo captured on camera.

It was just a pair of sec 1 girls. I met them up close later. One asked me to 'date' the other whom she calls 'chio and retarded' while the pounded each other continuously. God, it was hilarious.

I'll give them my number tomorrow, and maybe I'll get mandarin oranges in return..

Y'know I've been in this situation for a few times but I've never really know how to handle em. Usually I'd just put on a shy smile and be happy I'm noticed. But hey, paparazzis like me do get paparazzis too! (if u know what i mean)

I'll talk more on this when I have the chance. Life is exciting, it's never gotten better. We only have a few more days before we're moving out of the NIGHT STUDY ROOM!! Back to the home room system, and worse part is, NO MORE 18degrees frostbites!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

Hah~
Happy chinese new year to YOU~!

~HYD
~hyder_blazeshadow835@hotmail.com~

Bedbugs

Yoyoyo...

Latest updates:

31 Jan 08
Dad sent me to school that morning and was that when I noticed there was something peculiar about my face. Just when I thought my hair looked bad enough, I noticed something much worse when I got to school. Jumping out of the car, I dropped my bag and hurried to the toilet and I saw the most ugliest bump on my right eyelid. OMG, I looked liked I just had eye cancer or somethin and it reminded me of quasimodo. Bullshit, how the hell am I gonna get this thing me, I'm a monster. Its like half my eyelid had inflated and it covered the tip of my eye.

Yeah my pals said it was swollen and I could do nothin about it. I constantly had to cover my eye coz I look hideous. So I endured the first half of the day and I escaped my facing S.Cheong and she said it looked 'very bad and you seriously need a doctor.' I had my parents fetch me to the clinic. Doctor was right, it was the bug bite. Damn you bug.

Well, at least I manage to survive without hardly anyone seeing it, but I guess I had to surrender to my friends whom I used as shields from the crowd. Lol, 3/4 of the class didn't even know why the hell I left.


Well the great part came later, I skipped tuition coz mom and dad returned home with a new laptop( I didnt expect it) I helped set up our new Vista (and im using it now) yay i have a vistaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..... WOOOOOOO~

still i wont be using the comp much. My life was more meaningful without the comp. I won't blog much but I;ll keep updating.

Haaaa haaa~ tag me ritez?
You're cool.