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Well, this is it.

Change is inevitable, and we all carry on through life by going with the flow.
So here I am, finally posting after a seemingly endless hiatus, only to return, to declare an apparently, the start of my endless hiatus.

In short, I'm quitting blogging.

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My Past

I'ts been one heck of a journey since my first post. All those senseless, immature and immensely idiotic cries for attention in the beginning.. then we moved on to a more overemotional and pathetic first-class loser, and then slowly, yet unsteadily, more changes continued to unfold. Here I give a rundown of my journey in CrawlingInTheDark....

I never liked person I used to be. I must have wasted half of my life trying to find the answers to the questions.... that never really needed to be answered. It's excruciating if I were to look back on the previous posts. I want to go back in time and kick the crap out of the 07' hyder so badly. At least, beat some sense into him.

He's the biggest loser I ever knew. Whatever they said about him, it must've been true. Come on, let's face it: half the shit I wrote in the past never really made any sense to you, did it? In the past, I've always succumbed to everyone around me because I had no confidence in myself. I saw myself as the weakest link, an outcast. I failed to realize my true potential.

In life, there'll always be people better than you. Yes, that's true, and you'll continue to be a loser if you compare yourself to them. You don't compare yourself to others.

You only compare yourself to who you were before.

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My Change

Just to enlighten you guys on where am I and how I'm doing presently, I've never been better in my entire life. I practice Silat at least thrice a week. I go for weekly runs and gym workouts with my best buddies. I'm currenly living my dream course and I enjoy studying the subjects I take in Polytechnic. I have new friends that believe in me. I still have old friends that I value more than anything. I still continue to hone my writing skills. I still do my best to lend a listening ear and help out my friends.

See every day as an opportunity. See every challenge worth taking on. See every moment is worth living.

We all make mistakes. When we do, we make amendments to better ourself. Hence, besides my progression, I've also left a lot of things behind me. Such things include being excessively emotional, ungrateful, immature, uncertain, timid, and WEAK. I've also given up on videography, movie making, anime, and a lot of television.

Sadly, I've also abandoned a trait of mine which had brought glory and reputation to my life during my early years - drawing. And here I add one more to the list: blogging.

Just thinking about this tears me apart.

In the past I've played around with a familiar word: metamorphosis. I was so obsessed with it, I even used it for my email address: hydemorphosis. When I look at it now, it sounds pretty lame. How true does it relate to me, actually? I'll have to admit I've underestimated the meaning of the word. I was wrong. Declaring it became an excuse for me in the past to better myself. The truth is - I didn't.

Much of the more recent things I write about revolve around this topic of 'change'. Maybe not directly at times. Ironically I never understood it myself. At least not until now. Change is a strong word. Barack Obama rose to power with this word - and he succeeded. This very post is a cornerstone of change - the change I'm going through. There's no stopping me now.

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My Blog

So let's take this as a 'funeral' for my dear blog. I've always liked it. It was different.

It's not just any ordinary blog. It doesn't have an over-enthusiastic, flashy blogskin. It doesn't have a flooded tagboard. It doesn't play a tune that nobody wants to hear. It doesn't have a oversized link list of people whom I never really knew.

It doesn't live on the number of hits. Neither does it live on the frequency of posts.

It's just a simple, black blog, with brightly coloured words. Expressive pictures adorn every post. Ambiguous titles conceal my true intentions for writing.

A treasure trove of intricacy, satire and expressionism. A fusion of simplicity and profoundness. There's nothing like it.

I love it.

Words have always been my favourite way of expressing myself. It works every time. I'm not quitting because I don't have anything to write anymore. I'm quitting because I don't see it as a necessity to my life anymore.

If it's unnecessary, it's unproductive. If it's unproductive, it's irrelevant. Whatever that is irrelevant, is negatory. Whatever is negatory, is a waste of time.

I don't need to flush away despair by whining on my blog. I don't need to broadcast my happiest moments to the world. I don't need to blog to remain in the 'in' crowd. I didn't use this blog as a journal, it was more like a tool to get rid of stress. No wonder I don't need it anymore.

The most important lesson is that words can only take you so far. No matter how bombastic your vocabulary, no matter how incredibly persuasive your remarks, no matter how honourable your intentions, no matter how flawless your language skills...
you can only make a true impact on the world if you step up and take action.

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My Thanks

For a long time, there's been a list of names displayed on the sidebar. There's a reason for that. Before I end this, I'd like to thank the following people. Though this may seem a little corny, and it's like I only have two weeks to live, just bear with me okay. I'm not leaving Earth -.- but my emotions are undeniable. So here goes, in NO particular order:

Dun Ping
Thank you, for being CrawlingInTheDark's number one fan. Thank you for being an awesome writing partner. We work excellently together, if only the writing could last longer. Just like the comics we used to make together. As we grow up, we continue to share the same passions. There's no other friendship quite like this before. I look forward to training with you one day. =)

Carmen
I've always liked your alternate name (I wouldn't stop using it!), even you prefer to be known as Jam. Your tags are a lot more appreciated than they seem, thank you so much! Things will look up for you, you're way too valuable to the world. And I know, just like Dun Ping and Mai, our friendship will continue to blossom even in the future. =)

Maisarah
Thank you. Even though I've never told you, you made me feel extremely special at times. Wish we could talk as often as we did. I look forward to our next reunion. Believe in yourself, because a lot of people believe in you. I believe in you. One day you'll be living your dreams. Until then, take care of yourself okay? =)

Nasha
You never fail to bring joy back to my heart whenever I needed it (or even when I didn't, hahaha). It's always been loads of fun talking to you, even though sometimes I seem kinda mean. You're just full of surprises. It's adorable, in a painfully annoying kinda way. I didn't lie when I said you're one in a billion. Thank you so much. =)

Cheng Wei
Dude, besides being a best friend, I've always considered you a role model. You're terrifically talented, both aesthetically and academically. I enjoy every conversation we have, whether casual or online. And I've always been a fan of your art, and your JOKES!!! I miss working with you. Thank you, and stay awesome. =)

Oliver
Only you and Cheng are the ones from Tendays who still keep in touch with me after all this months. I know we've heard this a million times, but I can't resist saying it: I miss the good ol' days. Oliver, I've always seen you as a person worth respecting. Thank you so much. Stay cool. =)

Sharil
You're absolutely not just an average Joe (Jonas.. HAHA), and I am deeply honoured to be your best friend. Are we still best friends?? Where are you, man? I miss chatting with you online. I miss your old blogs. I miss your annoyingly witty remarks. I miss your cooking. I MISS PICKING ON YOU!!! We seriously need to catch up. Thank you for everything, Sharil. =)

Joanne
I've always been a big fan of yours. Your language skills are so inspiring, your blog has always been my personal favourite. Besides that, I always enjoyed our long online conversations because I can relate to you so well. Your personality stands out for itself, and that earned a great deal of my respect. Live strong, okay? And thank you for everything. =)

Khairin
I'll always treasure the memory of those days when we hung out together. Apparently we moved on pretty quickly from what we used to be. You're one of the rare few who can actually understand me when I'm at my lowest and couldn't turn to anyone else. So thank you. I'll value our benevolence forever. Miss you a damn lot. =)

Hau Yan
We'd been through so much together, I doubt I could ever find the words to describe how much impact you've made on my life. It's been a pleasure seeing you grow up, you've become so independent now. I'm really proud of you. Though things have changed, I wish to uphold the promises I made to you in the past. Promises are meant to be broken? I'll prove it to you that it ain't true. And like always, I'll be here for you, now and forever. You can count on me. Thank you. =)

Hau Yee
It's been a ridiculously long time since we talked. I really have no clue of where you are and how you've been. I'm sure things have been going well for you. I mean c'mon, your life rocks. Haha.. I'm grateful for your compassion and everything you did for me. I still miss you. Will we meet again one day? Until then, thank you for being a sister to me.

Tzu Ying
You write excellently and that's a trait of yours I've always admired. Your posts are a joy to read, kudos to you! Thank you for your generous tags. It's been a real pleasure knowing you. Remember, I'll still be here if you need advice. Best of luck for your upcoming O's. You'll breeze through it. I just know you will. =)

Zach & Luke
Well, what can I say? We're so close, we can practically read each others' minds. I'm forever grateful to you guys.


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There we go. I wish I could thank everyone I knew. Don't get me wrong, I have a lot of friends. But only you guys mentioned above are the ones whom I really feel deserve my upmost gratitude. All of you are invaluable to today's society and heroes of tomorrow. Trust me on that.

=D

The blog isn't going anywhere. Feel free to leave me comments or tags. Oh just do whatever you want. I don't care anymore. I wanna turn this blog into a relic. Maybe I'll visit it every once a decade or so. Hahahaha.

Here's Hyder, signing off for the last time!
Carpe Diem!

See ya~