Ace

It's 00:00

Happy Hydemorphosis Hyder.

I'm 16 today.

It aint exactly the sweetest 16th birthday.. but hey, let's always ditch the past and ace the future aiite?
Say goodbye to emo-hyde, lovesick-hyde, or vengeful-hyde.

It's not a comeback,

it's a new beginning.

Nonexistent

I was thinking my new 'emo' template would turn sour fast.

So I reverted back to the best template there is: No template.

Maybe I might close this blog down coz it's dying. And maybe a revival after the O's.

Preparation for war has really gotten me racing for time.

So now I'll slowly make myself vanish coz my presence on the computer had only catalysed the sand in my hourglass. Lol. I love being metaphorical. Till the time comes, I shall remain nonexistent.

Talk is cheap. Time is money. Fate is unfair. And destiny is inevitable.

I shall return.

~Hyd

Spellbound

HEYO HEYO HEYO

Wow. This day was one of the best days ever. Only on msn, I brought me and Maiz' relationship to a whole new level and I also made some newfound friends I never thought I would: Nadiah and Wajihah.

I spent my afternoon studying with my sister Hau Yee and my awesome pal Sharil by the pond. It was so damn fun filming Sharil for his little talk show and its so fun when Hau Yee's around. These two are so close to me, they're like family (even when one 'ahem' already is). LOL!

That evening, Maiz had been acting really strange lately and often showered me with uncalled praises I never really deserved. She was being really sweet though I'm still oblivious to her charm spells. I'm still confused of how we had gotten so far in such a short time, and how our lonely souls seem to find connection once more. Either way, she really made my day with our conversation. Can't wait to see her again sometime soon.

While as the night proceeded, I started to build up the friendship status between my and my sweet tuition friends Nadiah and Wajihah, though I hardly knew them before this day. It started when Nadiah asked me a history question and then it evolved into a vibrant conversation. 'Wawa' joined in and it got a lot more insane. Amazingly, we crapped about so many things and I threw in so many idiotic jokes I never thought I could think of. In one night, our connection spiralled from a cold zero to deliriously sky-high.

Really really had a lot of fun tonight. And it was one of those intoxicated days that outwitted all the miserable ones in the past weeks. Nothing would please me more than to be with those that I really respected and cherished as special friends. You guys know who you are, and I hope more delightful souls continue to step into my life and create a whole new world for me. As the tides of the exams continue to crash against me, I'm now surviving on you guys as my life-buoys. I've a feeling this black-and-white life will soon be replaced by a whole new spellbound world full of love and laughter.

Thanks to Sharil, Maiz, Hau Yee, Hau Yan, Ummi, Nasha, and my hilarious new friends. Thanks for turning my life around, when its so long upside down. Thanks for being there for me. I'll always be there for you guys, and that's a lifelong promise. While the others whom are not mentioned, don't think I've forgotten about you guys okay. As long as your name is written somewhere in this blog, I would die if you weren't my firned. ^^

And hey, with wits, charm, love and humour, even the tiniest of friendships and ounces of infatuation can create wonders.

And yes, even for half-emos like me. :)

Mediocrity

16/7/08

Career Seminar! I came to school in a cream-coloured shirt plus a dark grey tie. I kinda liked it coz it looked great even though it's cheap. LOL. Well everyone looked awesome and I favourited all my pals outfits. Somehow it really really suits their personality. Sis looked great too even when it was her second career seminar, haha. I told Mom and Dad lotsa people wore blazers. Dad criticized them and told me what's the point in dressing up for a job interview when ppl think you're already a CEO when you stepped in.

I digged all the talks and stuff. After the whole thing, TenDays and I hurried to Changi Airport T2 to spend our Swensens voucher. I thought I might get lonely at first, but it turned out okay in the end. When we got there I gobbled down a whole chicken-mushroom mayo pizza and slurped on a super soda. It's worth that twenty bucks, I felt like a puffer fish. Then we all shared the Earthquake. It reduced to 0 on the Richter Scale in less than 5 minutes. Hahaha.

When we got the bill it was like a total of a hundred plus bucks. Not surprising, but it drained the dough out of everyone. Then the girls were like using the calculator determining who pays how much. Hilarious!

I collapsed on the bed when I got home and slept for a few hours. Regretted it, coz when I woke up I thought I was gonna get indigestion but my stomach was still bloated as ever and my brain was in a daze. I did not gain a single pound.

17/7/08

Woke up with a cramped arm. It had frozen throughout the night, just my luck. School brought a bit less mediocrity on thursdays (coz there's no Physics today), and I had to retake my final final final final 2.4km run for my life in secondary school. I was first among all the other runners, but I sucked as always anyway. I had Good Charlotte to help me. Halfway through a bunch of our own schoolgirls (maybe sec 1-2) darting in their direction. They stopped to see me make a turn and they stared at me till I ran past. I thought I heard one say 'Waa he damn hot sia...' I rolled my eyes. Three cheers for imagination.

=.=

Okay so that's it. Y'know sometimes when you're a guy like me, living te life based on gloom and pessimism, it's kinda hard to face reality when it suddenly turns positive. Fate throws in bits and pieces of happiness to fool you so you'd 'brighten' up but eventually you come across some kinda negative side effect to it. So being negative sometimes eases the crap they'd throw at you later, a bit like finding out the truth when you make assumptions. I always lose when I jump to conclusions. The sad thing is, I can't stop myself.

Lady Luck always had a catch when she winks at me. I never really enjoyed her company.

~Hyd

Cara Lynn

Dear Cara Lynn,

I was looking through old memoirs of the times we had in the past. Wow, were they great. If only I could turn back time I'd go through all of those with you once more. But sad to say, they're locked up in the past forever. If only you'd just answer my questions so I could break free just like you did. But no, you'd rather let me weep silently in confusion. What's your reason for leaving me like this? You never told me.

As the days grow cold and pointless, I couldn't remind myself of where we went wrong. I know we couldn't carry on like this any longer so you had to let me go. But why, Cara Lynn, why? You took me by surprise. What happened really? Was it me, was it you? Was it someone in between? Was it something like love but it's not? You never told me.

I struggled to find the missing pieces that make up my heart. There were scars that bled every once in a while, and wounds that are yet to heal. The sleepless nights went on for weeks, as I reflected on the wrong paths we took. Or maybe it was just me. What made you think I wasn't the one? You never told me.

As I pulled myself together, I shrouded myself in a whole new personality I've never thought I'd become. Darkness and uncertainty were my soulmates, while misery was my company. And love became my greatest foe. I've taught you a lot about living life in raging thunderstorm and how the path ahead will ever be unseen. I knew what was in for me now, but what will you become in the future? You never told me.

You've taught me a lot, Cara Lynn. I've never known true friendship if not for you. Though you have left me nothing but memories, you turned me into a guardian. You sent me someone to look after and guide while she grows up in high school. She's really close to me now and she's doing really well. I know the Cara Lynn I knew will be gone forever, but I promise I'll take care of her for as long as I can. If we hadn't crossed paths my life would have never been so meaningful...

But I just can't help it. How I've missed you and longed for your return. Not a word you have sent me since that fateful day. Where are you now, Cara Lynn? Will I ever get to see you again? I've been crawling in the dark searching for the answers and I've never found them.

Only you have the answers I need.. but the sad thing is..

..

..you never told me.

~Hyder

Charlie

This is the most hilarious thing on Youtube!

~Cheerz

Desultory

Hey..

If you're reading this then many thanks to you coz you're probably the only one who's been here since eons ago. (http://www.dictionary.com/) Yeah. Go check out what's an eon. Anyway the new template doesn't seem to be attracting more readers.. just the flies. Is it really that stinky around here, or its just the lack of dramatic emo-ness-ness-ness? Dammit how come when I try to step down my emo and put jokes on the blog, no one comes here. No one tags.

To my avid readers out there, do you ever get sick of me being emo shyt on the blog all the time? Geez I thought people are pissed by my words but suddenly I'm confused. I don't get it man. Maybe I should get a home on Mars or something. I heard Martians know how to bake cookies.

So a week ago I submitted my 1000 word essay for the principal's competition on 'Emo teens in Singapore'. I kinda got inspired by colossal emotional prowess teens are willing to show these days so I wrote on how we can turn emos into bagpipe-playing angels or something like that. Yup, there IS HOPE.

Me? Naah. I'm not really those exrtreme slit-your-wrist kinda emo. More like the mild-mannered-Clark-Kentish kinda emo. No violence and gore in my movie. Yeah no striped socks... or piercings.. or eyeliner.. or hair.. don't rub it in please. I admit, I am very emotional driven and sensitive and I'm not proud of that. In case you don't know yet, this emolution that I go through helps me escape my worries and heals at the wounds inside.

Hyderiffic cure for heartbreaks: My Chemical Romance, darkness, silence and hostility. And not forgetting the enchanted aura of a moonlit night.



*sigh*

I'm just not that side right now. I'll be be back with more emo crap. Soon, I think, if I'm still alive after Physics tomorrow. See yahz.

Temperature

It's Burning Up, by the Jonas Brothers.

Rock on~

End of Holidays

The days are becoming shorter.

The nights are disappearing fast.
The path has become twisted as ever.

The skies are starting to gloom.

The storm is brewing.

The earth is shaking.

The wind is picking up.

The darkness is swallowing us up.

The firestorm is coming down on us.

The fog is finally clearing.
The gates of destiny has opened.

THE END IS NEAR

And the Battle has JUST BEGUN.

No. It cant be.

....

Crud.

Hyder's 100th Post.

Congratulations Hyder. Ya did it man, your 100th post.

It's been quite a while. I mean... wow not bad. Its been almost 3 years.

Well I'm in sec 4 and halfway through. I've gone through so many phases in this teen life that I dont' know where to begin. Smiles, upsets, laughter, horror, fatigue, celerity, courage, perseverence, hate, despair, embarrassment, nonsense, jubilance, failures and accomplishments.

What a day. What a week. What a year. What an irony.
Four years and still I have not grown out of the particular things I'm suppose to get rid of. And so many different evolutions, not one am I proud of.

Sec 1: The Mouse.

I was small, scared and oblivious to others around me. I was amazingly helpful, friendly, stupid and vulnerable. I feared all the others around me, I longed to be the best, I showed the rest what I'm made of. I was curious of what I will go through, with not a clue of what's my fate. Tiny, helpless and confused.

Sec 2: The Puppy.

Unknown to what the consequences were, I took stupid risks, with the hope of obtaining the rewards I never deserved. Like a sick, annoying little canine, I developed pointless infatuations, not one did I not regret. I endured every sick joke they played on me, every kick, every beating, every bite, every scratch. My heart pledged for vengeance, restoration and hope. And I succeeded.

Sec 3: The Wolf.

Towering over those who used to intimidate me, I stepped forward with a new destiny. Old friends departed, new companions came in. I only looked towards victory, despite so many challenges that arose. Little do I know the pursuit for desire would only open a can of worms. Alone and confused, once again, I suffered under my own actions, I repeated mistakes. I even discovered the meaning of true love, and the happiness behind it. But I found myself drowning in a pool of emotions everytime I crawled out from under the rock. But I fought to the very last bitter end.

Now in sec 4 I'm still finding myself. Not the fool, not the geek, not the emo. I'm still stuck in a broken love triangle. IM STILL STUCK IN THIS BLOODY HEARTBREAKING LOVE TRIANGLE. I don't know why do I still do this, why do I even bother DREAMING? I guess if I'd just receive all the answers it probably won't hurt so bad, aww the crud. Sinking... kicking... have to survive the waves before I drown once again. I think now I know what my sec 4 stage is.

Sec 4: The Mouse, The Puppy and The Wolf. Drifting apart from my sanity, I wish to break free once more. Maybe grow fins or even wings.. I'm still as vulnerable as the mouse, as hapless as the puppy, and as alone, and confused as the wolf. I still jump to conclusions and offer myself sacrifice to fate. I have yet to counter every weakness, and still I submit to them occassionally. My past has left many, many scars, which some I know can never heal. Put myself on the line: Crash, and burn.

Like I said, there are some things I've done or been through that I am not proud of, and is still haunting me till this day. Maybe, just maybe it'll be one last evolution before I leave high school. She's still a part of me, and its really really hard to face the reality of all this. Is there a hidden truth behind all this? She knows damn well it kills me, but I'll never break free from her clutches. Why deos she seem so close when she's the person I'll never be with in the future? Will I ever find my answers?

Metamorphosis and all that, has taken its toll, and maybe I'm not ready yet to break out of this cocoon. Happiness or destiny, one of which I shall have to sacrifice. A 100 posts, and still seeking the true meaning of victory. Still drowning in confusion. Still crawling in the dark.

One day, Hyder, you'll see.